What Have You Done To The Angel?

What have you done to the angel?
Why have you injured her wings?
The bliss of her smile has faded
Her hands have been soiled by your sins

Engulfed by your flames, she is burning
Her innocence turning to ashes
She struggles with wings that are bleeding
She flies but she falls and she crashes

Could you fix what is broken forever?
Mend wings that could no longer soar?
Could you heal a spirit that’s shattered?
She breathes, but she’s angel no more

And she craves for a drink of your poison
Longs for a glimpse of the Dark
What have you done to the angel?
How have you twisted her heart?

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The Voices

You know it, deep inside you do
Not just your heart, your mind is broken too
The Voices are loud inside your head
You tell them “Stop!” but they get noisier instead

The Stranger smiles and promises the Light
You take a pause – there’s just no light in sight
The Voices say, “Trust only what you see.”
But the Stranger’s words are as beautiful as can be

The Stranger speaks softly in your ear
“Those Voices give you Darkness, give you Fear.”
So you try to run, but the Voices in your head
They stay with you everywhere you tread

The Stranger holds your hand and starts to lead
You think that maybe that’s exactly what you need
In the dark, you are hopeful but you are blind
“There is no Light,” say the Voices in your mind

“You make me glad,” the Stranger says to you
And you smile because you know it to be true
But the moment you start to shed a tear
The Stranger stops and begins to disappear

You hide the tears to make the Stranger stay
You want the Light and he can lead the way
But the Voices say, “Let him go.
The Light is not for you, you know.”

But the tears you hide, they fall somehow
So the Stranger starts to leave you now
“You are broken, that is why.”
The Stranger tells you with a sigh

The Voices are the Darkness that you dread
But is it Light you want, or is it Truth instead?
You know it, deep inside you do
The Voices speak the Truth of you

2012.01.22

I did not choose to stop believing

I did not choose to stop believing
I did not choose to leave behind
The Faith that’s been deceiving
My quiet innocent Mind

I did not want to be so different
I did not want to cause a mess
But I can’t stop my mind from thinking
That I can’t believe in just a guess

If God is Truth then what is Truth?
Is it Inconsistency?
Should He be real just because
The Bible makes good Fantasy?

It’s not that I don’t want Him there
If He is, He’s been good to me
But just because you *feel* He’s there
Can’t mean you *must* claim Him to be

In my youth, if I could choose
I would have chosen The Fantasy
So I could belong with everyone
And they’d be very good to me

But now I find it somewhat strange
That I am the different one
In this nation of believers
Against Common Sense, Faith has won

I would not choose to stop believing
If it had been up to me
But if God exists, I’m glad He’s decided
That I don’t deserve The Fantasy

Chasing Illusions

You smile at me as if I’m dear
And look at me with caring eyes
And even when you’re mean to me
It’s just affection in disguise
I want to reach, I want to grasp
Those sweet illusions I could have of you
But my mind denies because it knows
That they can’t possibly be true

The childish way you call me names
And pat my head so playfully
Is how you claim that I am yours
And show that you belong to me
But then with such obvious lies
Of made-up illusions I want of you
My mind cannot allow such dreams
I must endure only what’s true

We have been close for quite a while
And they say time makes feelings grow
And you fell hard for me but you’re
Somehow afraid to let me know
For just a moment, if I could have
That silly illusion to think of you
But my mind won’t let me play
I’m bound to suffer for what is true

All I have is reality’s pain
I can’t even take a break
As I begin with happy thoughts
My mind tells me it’s a mistake
For even just a glimpse of those
Illusions I want to make of you
My mind is quick to disapprove
Unless you declare them to be true

And when you smile as if I’m dear
And look at me with caring eyes
I’m told not to be misled
Cause you’re a devil in disguise
And the only way that I could grasp
The illusions that I need of you
Is if you fool my mind with words
And tell me that you love me too

If I Could

If I could whisper tender words
into your ear and see you smile
Or rest my head on your shoulder
to relax for just a while
Or put my arms around you
when I sense you’re feeling low
If I could, I’d do these things
without fearing you’d say no

If I could hear your thoughts and understand
why you see your life that way
Or know your feelings when they don’t match
the words you prefer to say
Or make you speak your mind so honestly
the same way that I do
If I could, I’d do these things
to understand the truth of you

If I could blind your eyes from seeing
all the flaws you see in me
Or trick your ears to hear my words
in some sweet melody
Or make you see that I am trying
to be better than I am
If I could, I’d do these things
but would you even give a damn?

If I could say I love you
without having to see you frown
If I could say I miss you
every time you’re not around
If I could, I’d make you love me
make you see that this is good
If I could, I’d do these things
if I could, I would.

Wyverns in the Mountains

My weapon’s on the ready though my armor’s low on skills
My Felyne’s all excited – we wanna get a lot of kills
We got to Area 1, and there’s a Tigrex on the loose
I don’t want to fight the Tigrex, I just want some Thunderbug Juice!

My Felyne started slashing but I ran up to Area 2
Climbed the vine and grabbed some Ivy, and drank some Hot Drink too
I checked the Area 3 but then the Khezu’s in the cave
I wanna get Blue Mushrooms there but the Khezu won’t behave

I left the Khezu there and went directly to Area 4
I got myself some Honey and a piece of Iron Ore
I talked to Veggie Elder but his items weren’t superb
But then I gave him Garbage and he gave me Mountain Herb!

My Great Sword slashed the Giapreys in Area 5 so easily
But Area 6 was such a shock when the Kirin jumped right at me
The beast hopped frantically here and there and I was in so much pain
I swear that silver unicorn is mentally insane!

I managed to find my way to Area 7 with a run
But Kushala Daora was waiting there, it wasn’t so much fun
To make it worse my Felyne decided to start his gathering
While there I was with poor attempt to hack at Daora’s wing

I managed to avoid the icy winds that Daora threw
But I just can’t get near enough no matter what I do
With not a single slash, I don’t think I can defeat
And I remembered that I’m only here for some Raw Meat

I left the Elder Dragon and decided to go to Area 8
And there they were, the Popos, which were cute but doomed by fate
I killed them, got some Raw Meat, and some Popo Tongues as well
While my Felyne stood by waiting, he’s finished gathering, I can tell

I’ve farmed enough Raw Meat and it’s time to go back to base
But then Kushala Daora came in an icy breezy haze
I ran to the other side but the Tigrex came charging in
I blocked him with my Great Sword but I was stunned by some blue lightning

I couldn’t tell from where it came — was it Kirin or was it Khezu?
For in fact, both of them were there, even the Giadrome too
To save myself from the five of them, I crawled into the hole
And from there I climbed to the top, the place where there’s a pole

I checked below to see if maybe some of them have died
Those crazy monsters could kill each other since the area wasn’t wide
But to my surprise I saw that they were having some conference
And then I realized that this wasn’t making that much sense

For one thing, there wasn’t such a quest where five of them were in
And for goodness’ sake, I only planned on gathering
And when I started to use Farcaster, I thought this dream has got to stop
And with a shriek of the alarm clock, I finally woke up

*Inspired by the game Monster Hunter Portable 2ndG.

Crime

I.
I weep
For I will
Always love you

Aware
That you kill
My soul

In your eyes
And your smile
I see demons

I stand weak
All the while
Never whole

II.
Must I
Go this far
To defeat you?

So you’ll see
That you are
Not a god

All the acts
You have made
I must punish

Watch me now
As my blade
Draws your blood

III.
Hush
Don’t you speak
Don’t say “Sorry”

That word
Makes you weak
Makes you lie

Your sins
Against me
Are forgiven now

As I
Finally
Say goodbye

IV.
Breathe
Your last breath
Is it painful?

Embrace
Certain death
With a smile

Believe
You are worthy
There is heaven

And if not
Don’t you worry
Hell’s your style

V.
And I weep
For I will
Always love you

It’s a burden
I can’t kill
Or ignore

And I am
Tainted of
This crime now

But I have
Learned to love
Myself more

Poisoned Lips

Poisoned lips

In fragrant breath

Glassy eyes

And frozen smiles

And marks

Of sudden death

Of feelings

And of blunt

Expressiveness

The soul

Is passionless

The heart’s

A bloody mess

The angry mind

Is crying out

Into the nothingness

Of selfish deeds

And selfish creeds

On poisoned lips

Craving trips

Of hushed exile

For kisses on

The demon’s smile